"Wearing the Ruby Slippers" by Cara McLauchlan
My secret of motherhood is summed up in one word: believe.
Just as in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy desperately asks how to get home, Glenda the Good Witch lightly declares she had the power all along, if only she believed. Like Dorothy, I wish someone would have shortcut the wisdom for me. To realize as moms, we know exactly how to care for our kids, if we listen to our own voice and simply believe.
Part of me wonders why Dorothy didn’t have a mini hissy fit with Glenda after she said that. She should have at least asked “you made me gallivant around this freaky Oz-land, get attacked by flying monkeys and some psycho green lady, when I could have been home having buttered toast with Auntie Em?”
Like Dorothy, I didn’t catch the smarty ruby slippers thing. I equate wearing the ruby slippers into knowing that being a mom is already hard wired into you. The great bodily trip of having a baby is clue enough that God knew exactly what He was doing. Just as He splendidly equipped women to give birth, He also loaded the deck by giving us all the skills to raise a child too. It’s essential to remember that mommy wiring is deep within the fabric of our souls.
In my head, I understand the “believing in your mommy-ness” thing – but I often forget. I find myself wrapped around an axle of some dramatic issue du jour -- like if my son gets another yellow flag on his car as school, does that mean he is on track to becoming a serial killer?
Despite my head knowledge of knowing everything will be fine when I stop freaking out, I continue to find myself not having a clue what to do. The incessant questions come and multiply like baby rabbits with more questions. Am I feeding him enough, is he pooping enough, am I disciplining him correctly, will he need therapy if I don’t buy him this, did I choose the right school, is he making friends that don’t like guns….and on and on. There I go sending myself off on some wacko Oz-like venture about my son.
Remember. A mom’s got to wear the ruby slippers and believe.
For me, wearing the ruby slippers is about being 10 years old again. I see myself as the gutsy, tree-climbing girl, unafraid of anything. Perching up in my self-claimed leafy kingdom I raise my arms to the sky and shout “I’m the Queen of the World!” Skinned knees, hair askew and clothes dirty – I am a girl who knows exactly who she is and precisely what she wants. I don’t need anyone or any book to tell me what to do. I just know.
I used to think knowing how to be a great mommy was about being really smart. I can remember the first week of motherhood making charts of feedings, poopings and changings. During naptimes, I would rush to the baby books to read up on what I was supposed to be doing, thinking about, watching for and learning to be a wise mommy.
This is embarrassing, but I actually thought I could use my maternity leave time as a chance to catch up on what was happening in the world. So I decided during breastfeedings, I would devote myself to watching CNN, Crossfire, Power Breakfast and other cool sounding programs. I was going to use this down time as getting really smart time. That lasted for one day – September 11, 2001.
That deep breath reminder was all I needed to remember what was essential. As long as I had my son, my husband and my faith – nothing else mattered. I realized all the head knowledge in the world was wasted if I didn’t have my family. That was the day I gave up watching TV to make me a better mommy. To be a brillian mommy, I only needed to be present and loving.
Perhaps this is the greatest challenge we are given as human beings and moms – to be present and loving. In the crazy minutiae of the world, this could be the hardest thing of all.
I am ashamed to say that there were the days when I thought I could do everything. I could run a career, have a family, keep a clean house, cook gourmet meals and live a great life. The real lesson came when I was trying to do my best Wonder Woman impersonation. I was going to be productive and work in my home office -- all the while having a sick child on the sofa begging me to sit with him. I had work to do and I decided it was going to get done – no matter what. He ended up hospitalized from dehydration and I knew it was my fault. I missed it. I forgot my hard wiring of what was the most important thing – to be present and loving. I let my ego get in the way and did not listen to my truth.
In a sense, my son is my greatest teacher. Usually the lesson speaks to both of us in unexpected ways. The great “chef surprise” about being a mommy is that often I find myself making it up as I go along. Perhaps that’s what makes each moment so rewarding and challenging at the same time. What I have learned is things work best when I trust in my own deep listening for answers.
If I could re-write the ending of The Wizard of Oz, I would script Glenda to go on a bit after she made that “you’ve got the power in you” statement to Dorothy. I wished she would have added a couple things about advice, woman-to-woman. Perhaps she thought she would offend the male munchkins. Most of all I wanted her to tell Dorothy to never forget who she is as a person. To always remain true to the best inside her. That someday she may have a husband back in Kansas and a couple kids. And if she does become a mom, to always believe in the greatness that resides inside of her right now and always. Because if you believe in that, it will carry you perfectly where you need to go – wherever your path may take you.
Cara McLauchlan is a writer, wife and mom from Fuquay-Varina, NC. She has written and published an inspirational book for women called “The Portable Red Hot Momma” – a purse-sized collection of vivacious thoughts -- available at www.crankymommies.com. She enjoys encouraging other women to seek their greatness through her essays, articles and books. When she is not doing the laundry or extreme carpooling, she is working on her blog called “Joy Goggles” – chronicling her last year before 40. She is currently cooking up her next book “The Best of Summer” – a daily meditation companion to treasure up the best of the season. Check out more of her writings by visiting www.joygoggles.blogspot.com.
Just as in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy desperately asks how to get home, Glenda the Good Witch lightly declares she had the power all along, if only she believed. Like Dorothy, I wish someone would have shortcut the wisdom for me. To realize as moms, we know exactly how to care for our kids, if we listen to our own voice and simply believe.
Part of me wonders why Dorothy didn’t have a mini hissy fit with Glenda after she said that. She should have at least asked “you made me gallivant around this freaky Oz-land, get attacked by flying monkeys and some psycho green lady, when I could have been home having buttered toast with Auntie Em?”
Like Dorothy, I didn’t catch the smarty ruby slippers thing. I equate wearing the ruby slippers into knowing that being a mom is already hard wired into you. The great bodily trip of having a baby is clue enough that God knew exactly what He was doing. Just as He splendidly equipped women to give birth, He also loaded the deck by giving us all the skills to raise a child too. It’s essential to remember that mommy wiring is deep within the fabric of our souls.
In my head, I understand the “believing in your mommy-ness” thing – but I often forget. I find myself wrapped around an axle of some dramatic issue du jour -- like if my son gets another yellow flag on his car as school, does that mean he is on track to becoming a serial killer?
Despite my head knowledge of knowing everything will be fine when I stop freaking out, I continue to find myself not having a clue what to do. The incessant questions come and multiply like baby rabbits with more questions. Am I feeding him enough, is he pooping enough, am I disciplining him correctly, will he need therapy if I don’t buy him this, did I choose the right school, is he making friends that don’t like guns….and on and on. There I go sending myself off on some wacko Oz-like venture about my son.
Remember. A mom’s got to wear the ruby slippers and believe.
For me, wearing the ruby slippers is about being 10 years old again. I see myself as the gutsy, tree-climbing girl, unafraid of anything. Perching up in my self-claimed leafy kingdom I raise my arms to the sky and shout “I’m the Queen of the World!” Skinned knees, hair askew and clothes dirty – I am a girl who knows exactly who she is and precisely what she wants. I don’t need anyone or any book to tell me what to do. I just know.
I used to think knowing how to be a great mommy was about being really smart. I can remember the first week of motherhood making charts of feedings, poopings and changings. During naptimes, I would rush to the baby books to read up on what I was supposed to be doing, thinking about, watching for and learning to be a wise mommy.
This is embarrassing, but I actually thought I could use my maternity leave time as a chance to catch up on what was happening in the world. So I decided during breastfeedings, I would devote myself to watching CNN, Crossfire, Power Breakfast and other cool sounding programs. I was going to use this down time as getting really smart time. That lasted for one day – September 11, 2001.
That deep breath reminder was all I needed to remember what was essential. As long as I had my son, my husband and my faith – nothing else mattered. I realized all the head knowledge in the world was wasted if I didn’t have my family. That was the day I gave up watching TV to make me a better mommy. To be a brillian mommy, I only needed to be present and loving.
Perhaps this is the greatest challenge we are given as human beings and moms – to be present and loving. In the crazy minutiae of the world, this could be the hardest thing of all.
I am ashamed to say that there were the days when I thought I could do everything. I could run a career, have a family, keep a clean house, cook gourmet meals and live a great life. The real lesson came when I was trying to do my best Wonder Woman impersonation. I was going to be productive and work in my home office -- all the while having a sick child on the sofa begging me to sit with him. I had work to do and I decided it was going to get done – no matter what. He ended up hospitalized from dehydration and I knew it was my fault. I missed it. I forgot my hard wiring of what was the most important thing – to be present and loving. I let my ego get in the way and did not listen to my truth.
In a sense, my son is my greatest teacher. Usually the lesson speaks to both of us in unexpected ways. The great “chef surprise” about being a mommy is that often I find myself making it up as I go along. Perhaps that’s what makes each moment so rewarding and challenging at the same time. What I have learned is things work best when I trust in my own deep listening for answers.
If I could re-write the ending of The Wizard of Oz, I would script Glenda to go on a bit after she made that “you’ve got the power in you” statement to Dorothy. I wished she would have added a couple things about advice, woman-to-woman. Perhaps she thought she would offend the male munchkins. Most of all I wanted her to tell Dorothy to never forget who she is as a person. To always remain true to the best inside her. That someday she may have a husband back in Kansas and a couple kids. And if she does become a mom, to always believe in the greatness that resides inside of her right now and always. Because if you believe in that, it will carry you perfectly where you need to go – wherever your path may take you.
Cara McLauchlan is a writer, wife and mom from Fuquay-Varina, NC. She has written and published an inspirational book for women called “The Portable Red Hot Momma” – a purse-sized collection of vivacious thoughts -- available at www.crankymommies.com. She enjoys encouraging other women to seek their greatness through her essays, articles and books. When she is not doing the laundry or extreme carpooling, she is working on her blog called “Joy Goggles” – chronicling her last year before 40. She is currently cooking up her next book “The Best of Summer” – a daily meditation companion to treasure up the best of the season. Check out more of her writings by visiting www.joygoggles.blogspot.com.
Christine Fugate
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