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« When to get cell phone? | Main | Naptime Madness »

Jailed for Bad School Lunches

Dear Mothering Heights,

If my kids starve to "death" because they don't like my lunches, am I legally liable?

Laguna Beach, CA

Dear Tricia,

As long as it’s not a recycled sandwich you are fine, but what do I know? I once drove in the carpool lane without any other passengers and got a nasty ticket. I contacted my smart, lawyer friend Josh Wolff who laid down the law:  “You are held to the standard of a “reasonably prudent parent” – not that one exists. A reasonably prudent parent would likely foresee that lunches uneaten over a long enough time would eventually lead to the child’s malnourishment, starvation, and inevitable death.  Thus, you would be liable. Of course, you could always plead ‘not guilty’ by reason of parental insanity.”

Parental insanity is a fabulous plea, and frankly I don’t know why I didn’t use it for my carpool lane infraction! As for your lunch situation, tell those kids to buck up or Mommy is going to jail. Then not only will they have to make their own lunches, but clean the toilet, too. In fact, why not start today and have them make their own lunch? Any reasonable prudent parent would agree that a messy kitchen post-lunch preparation is better than the County mess hall.

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