The Gun Question

“I need to ask you a question,” I said, pausing as I summoned up the strength for a socially awkward moment with the mom of my daughter’s newest friend. A play date was in the works, but first I needed to talk to the mom, whom I did not know well.

“Do you have guns in your house?”

 

There was a short silence at the other end of the line. “I know that might seem like a strange question,” I said, “But I need to know.”

Ever since my daughter turned seven, she wants to go on play dates without me. A slightly nervous proposition when you are used to being present for every juice box or game of Candy Land, but I realize it is a natural progression. The more I started to think about it, however, the more I realized I had to ask the gun question.

 

Sometimes, I blame my inquisition on the fact that I grew up in Kentucky where people cleaned their guns around the dining room table. A bit stereotypical, but it was true. My neighbors on the corner kept their guns on a rack in the garage for everyone to see. And when it wasn’t there, it was in the back of their pick-up truck.

 

When I was in elementary school, a young boy was shot and killed because his brother accidentally fired the gun. His dad had been cleaning it and well, you can figure out the rest of the story. It happened to another boy when I was in high school, although he survived the injury.

 

But now days, I don’t feel like I have to explain myself with my Kentucky stories. Kids are taking guns to school on a weekly basis and shooting people. Every week, the paper seems to have pictures of children attending a funeral for one of their classmates. We think we are safe in Orange County, away from that crazy gun cleaning, gun toting behavior. Think again.

 

As I started to ask my gun question, parents responded with, “Yes, we do have guns in the house.” At that point, I have to become like Perry Mason, asking where they are stored, do they clean them in front of the kids, and all sorts of things that aren’t really my business-except that my child wants to play at their house.

 

There are all kinds of scary statistics to share (and be challenged) in this area of child safety. For example, in 72% of unintentional deaths and injuries, suicide, and suicide attempts with a firearm of 0-19 year-olds, the firearm was stored in the residence of the victim, a relative, or friend. (Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine, August 1999). Or how about in 30% of handgun-owning households, the handgun was stored unlocked and loaded. (National Institute of Justice, May 1997). And finally 4 children died every day in non-homicide firearm incidents from 1996-2001. (Centers for Disease Control,1996-2001).

 

“No, we don’t have guns in our house, nor do we own any,” the mom finally answered. I could tell she was taken aback by my question but I don’t care.

 

“Thank you,” I said, “As soon as she finishes her homework, I will bring her over.”

Visit kidsandguns.org and playdatesecure.com for more information on gun safety and play dates.

Comments

[CPA Mom]

I was just thinking about this - how I'm going to have to ask this question when my kids start going to other houses - because my late husband had a 9mm - it's been stored in my boss's attic for me - I just sold it to him so it's out of our lives for good. I grew up with guns but I don't want them around my little ones.

[hurls]

christine, swear to god, you are the only other person I know who has asked this question besides myself. Good for you. It's a very important, and yes, uncomfortable one to ask. Love you