Despite mommy blogging being big business, pundits have criticized mommy websites for projectile vomiting every thought, feeling and worry about their children. This might include how to handle a child not sleeping through the night due to projectile vomiting. Fifty years ago no one would talk about these things in public let alone “blog” about it.
The truth is women have been doing this for ages…before it was called “blogging” it was called writing in a diary. From cave drawings to hidden journals women have been spewing their thoughts since the beginning of time.
I know blogging is different because there is an audience out there watching. None the less it is an anonymous audience. If you are very good at pretending it can feel just like writing in a diary.
I wondered what it would be like if the Internet and blogging had been around during other times. The most obvious and entertaining era for me would’ve been in the 1950’s. I am the first to admit that I idealize those impeccable, nearly perfect stay at home moms. Mildly detached from their children, there were no discussions of “crying it out” attachment parenting or organic vs. sprayed. Babies were put in their own cribs and in their own rooms from day one. They were fed formula (nursing was for low class women) and left in their playpens for long afternoons to entertain themselves. I imagined that a blog would go something like this…
Time for me, Time for you
By Phillis Renee Lloyd - My 1950's name
Check this link out for fab fun fifties names)
“I woke up with a terrible headache today and knew if I could just slug down two aspirin with a vodka chaser I’d feel much better.
Those days are over for me now that I’m a mom though. Well at least the vodka part. I should at least wait until noon. So it’s settled. If anyone wants to join me later today, my backyard…noon…Easy Cheese…Ritz Crackers.
In the meantime my girdle, new lipstick and a nice hair comb will have to do.
In other news, I’m really working on losing those last few pounds since little Susie was born. I try to reach for a ciggie every time I think of eating. That definitely helps.
I caught Richard Jr. playing with Susie’s dolls again. I just hope Dick didn’t see him last night when he got home from work. He is so hard on the poor kid already. Do other mom’s worry about such things?
Today I want my readers to comment on letting their sons play with their toys that aren’t…well masculine...is it normal? I’m so grateful to have a group of ladies to connect to. Off to make those Martini’s.
Reading other mom’s blogs help us to fill in those much needed gaps, answer questions that we are too embarrassed to ask, and make us feel better about our own lame parenting styles.
At times we have to remember that we are blogging to an audience rather then just to a diary. Sometimes there is just too much information spewing from the finger tips of a desperate and ill equipped mom. I remember reading a blog from a mom who boasted about home schooling her four young children and how she had another one on the way. She actually admitted that she kept her children in front of the television most of the day and that she was kind of addicted to reading and posting on the internet.
Thankfully and narcissistically, this helped me to feel infinitely better about my own parenting. I pictured a once beautiful (in a mid western kind of way) bulging at the middle-woman and her four dirty faced children. They were fighting and hitting each other with fisher price toys while stepping on crushed cheerios and dried string cheese. Their cries were drowned out from noise coming from a blaring television.
As I write this, I look over at my son and daughter nearing the end of a two week spring break/furlough day’s endless vacation. Take away the bulge in the middle, make the Midwestern woman a former Jersey girl, and shrink the number of kids from two to four and…ok well let’s just say that Lego’s are a lot easier to clean up then smashed cheerios.
Please join me as my illustrious and glamorous friend Christine Fugate, takes a temporary holiday from Mothering Heights. She has offered me the opportunity to attempt to fill her much more stylish shoes.
While this is a tall order I will do my best. My plan is to analyze, criticize, and judge motherhood with as much sarcasm, humor and self doubt as I can muster up.
I am a Jersey girl, albeit before the advent of Jersey Shore. So you can take the girl out of New Jersey but you can’t take Snookie out of the girl.
Although I always claim that I was raised by wolves the truth is that while my mother was out changing the world through politics, my father was the stay at home mom. My mother taught me everything I know about tenacity, picketing and never having a dull moment.
Stay tuned for next weeks column as we follow her, State Senator Loretta Weinberg, as she defends herself against New Jersey Govenor Chris Christie as he calls for the press to "take at bat to her".