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Call of the WILD

My husband left with the kids on a trip to NJ yesterday. They went to visit my 76 year old Candidate Mom who is adding yet another chapter to her already fabulous life. She is being sworn in as the Senate Majority leader in the New Jersey State Senate.

Being 76 years old the big boys and girls in the back room have determined that my tough-as-nails, left-of-the-liberals, attack-Chris-Christie-at-every-turn, mother is the right gal for the job.

I stayed in LA.  I’m working on a History Channel show right now and would’ve given my boss a coronary if I asked to leave. Also, we need the fracken money.

After much thought my hubby decided he wanted to take the kids and go. My family would have a b*tch free time without me hovering over everyone telling them what to do. I would get some much needed rest not staying up till midnight cleaning up and making the next days lunches, and my husband would set up some business meetings. It was a win win for everyone.

After their plane left I went into a tailspin having a two-hour manic jag crying while listening to fiddle songs about Jesus on Pandora (I can’t quite explain that one).

I had to face it. My family has become my identity. I live for them, love them with all my cells and can’t believe these tiny people who started from helpless blobs are emerging into real live fantastic people.

When I say they have become my identity I don’t mean it in that pre-feminist, 1950’s housewife kind of way, I mean that my husband and children complete me in a way that I never knew existed and that when my first child was born as I tell her everything in the world just made sense to me.

Some of that is just plain old’ biology. We come into this world to procreate. Our biology gives our brain the motivation to find a mate and keep populating the world.

Being married with children isn’t for everyone, but for me wifehood and parenthood has been very satisfying. As a matter of fact my only regret is that I didn’t start earlier. I’d like to have had a 3rd baby.

I love being a parent. (Except for the sleep deprivation, teething, piles and piles of laundry, too much homework, and constant worrying). I love the chaos, the schlumpy mom look (I have perfected it) and the automatic way mommy strangers, bond over sleep training, breast-feeding, preschools and kindergartens.

Even though my kids are still little (6 & 8) I walk by the park and look at moms with their babies and toddlers and miss that time.  When I was that mom in the park with toddlers I just wanted to be able to sit and read a book with a cup of tea rather then the never ending park games of pouring a bucket of water from the bathroom faucet onto the sand for the 2354th time.

Sigh-The grass is always greener but raising children in one’s life is finite and sacred.  As our children get older it becomes less about physically keeping them safe (although both my kids are constantly falling and bonking their heads) and more about patience, setting boundaries and doling out discipline. These days are filled with eye rolling (my daughter), sneaking Oreo cookies at 5:00am (again my daughter) and sassy talking me with a little too much Disney channel show tude. (Must be a theme here). My son is pretty darn perfect. Except for the tantrums he had every day from age 6 months to…well yesterday.

I know I’m crazy but if I were younger and richer I’d do it, I’d have another baby. Since I’m too old and too broke I’ll just settle for the furry white dog, who is like a baby. I can even carry her around in a doggy sling if my baby cravings get strong enough.

Now onto my staycation where I’ve booked two massages in one weekend. I plan to sleep more and clean less, sit with a cup of tea and a good book and count the minutes until their return





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Reader Comments (5)

You and Jon gave me a great gift. My "perfect" son-in-law (except for his politics) arrived with the two grandchildren who also complete me. They have been a wonderful chaotic addition to a crazy, bittersweet, chaotic week. Thank you
January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLoretta Weinberg
I laughed at your recent description of your wedding, with your mother's concerns that ceremony was too Jewish. And now, while she's being sworn in as the Senate majority leader for her state, you're wistfully thinking that it would have been nice to have had another baby.

This same week, I listened to Rosie O'Donnell talk about her dismay that her son begged to go military school (something that parents used to use as a threat, in my generation). She is horrified that he has started to call her ma'am.

And my son, who greets my attempts at P Flag bonding by prying one eye open, as I leave to go to an AIDS walk, a Pride parade, or a Marriage Equality event, and telling me to have a good time.

I've always suspected it, but now I am positive; children are ornery. And although dogs stay little and cute; children do not. So, if it's any comfort to you, when you're thinking about babies--just keep in mind that dogs will not roll their eyes at you, or have tantrums, and even if they watch the Disney channel, their attitude toward you will remain one of blind adoration.

They will, of course, eat Oreo cookies at 5 am, or any other time they can get away with it. But wouldn't you, if you thought no one was looking?

Many parents will tell you that baby and toddler years are a breeze compared to the rest of raising children; and that a few years of little and cute t is a high price to pay for a lifetime of the rest. I wouldn't say that myself, since I am one of the few women on earth who prefer teenagers. But it's something worth keeping in mind; when you start feeling the itch. Get your fluffy white dog a fluffy white brother or sister. You'll get twice as much adoration, and no dog, however brilliant, will need to be put through college!

As a NJ resident, I am looking forward to your amazing mother's reign as the majority leader. Here's hoping this is a sign that things are taking a turn for the better here. I look forward to the day when we have a governor who does not remind me so much of Tony Soprano, or one of his thugs, minus the charm and good manners.

As much as I would like to see him out of the governor's seat here, I certainly wouldn't foist him on the rest of the country. That would just be sharing the misery, not eliminating it. So, no matter where I go, if anyone mentions our governor, I tell them of his remarks about your mother. One potential voter at a time, I'm doing my part.

Enjoy your staycation. I'm certain you will.
January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen O'Neill
You're damned if you do and damned if you don't with kids a lot of the time. And that means anything you do or say and at whatever age you do/say it. And it's still worth it! Love those kiddies. Miss them (and Jon, too) and totally enjoy your alone time and solitude. You won't have them (kids or solitude) for very long when you look at the long view of things. Your kids are great, which says a lot about your (and Jon's) parenting. I miss all of you!
January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWicked Step Aunt
Wicked Step Aunt--so true about anything you do or say--my son has never listened to a word I said, except for the odd comment that should have been preceded by a Miranda type warning, geared towards parents:

"Anything you say that can be used for my own nefarious purposes can and will be used against you at my earliest convenience, and as many times thereafter as necessary."
January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen O'Neill
Thank you so much everyone for your wonderful comments
January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrancine

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