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The Manual for Motherhood Volume 1 Table of Contents & Contributors Raves & Reviews Events & Signings Press Releases & Requests The Next Question

Volume 1

Table of Contents & Contributors

Raves & Reviews

Events & Signings

Press Releases & Requests

The Next Question

Books Advice Humor Kids Literature Parenting Young Adult

Advice

Humor

Kids

Literature

Parenting

Young Adult

Movies & TV Adventure Comedy Documentary Drama Music CDs & Concerts Kids & Family

Adventure

Comedy

Documentary

Drama

Music CDs & Concerts

Kids & Family

Contests LIza Palmer Books

LIza Palmer Books

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Contact About Christine Contact Christine

About Christine

Contact Christine

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I am experiencing holiday stressitis. Extreme spending with an inability to stop eating.

Parent Talk

The Palin Illusion

Bus Stop Fashionista

What I Learned This Summer

In Search of a Hobby

Wall-E

Scrubs: The Complete Seventh Season

Noelle

Indiana Jones: Adventure Collection

Click and Clack's As the Wrench Turns

Little Brown's books for Readers

Seeing Me Naked

Find Me Here BlogHer LB Indy Coast Magzine Motherwords Wikipedia

BlogHer

LB Indy

Coast Magzine

Motherwords

Wikipedia

My Sisters 5M4Mom Anne Glamore Boobs, Injuries Celia Rivenbark CPA Mom Elaine Jordan Graphic Muse Jane Porter Judith Warner Kat Tales Moms w.out Blogs Lisa Romeo Mother Tongue Parent Talk Today Sara Berman Signing Time Blog Snark Spot So Sioux Me Sugar Mama Margaret & Helen

5M4Mom

Anne Glamore

Boobs, Injuries

Celia Rivenbark

CPA Mom

Elaine Jordan

Graphic Muse

Jane Porter

Judith Warner

Kat Tales

Moms w.out Blogs

Lisa Romeo

Mother Tongue

Parent Talk Today

Sara Berman

Signing Time Blog

Snark Spot

So Sioux Me

Sugar Mama

Margaret & Helen

Funny Men Man in the House Perez Hilton

Man in the House

Perez Hilton

Giving Back Gigi's Playhouse

Gigi's Playhouse

Movies Rotten Tomatoes Thelma Adams Movie Mom

Rotten Tomatoes

Thelma Adams

Movie Mom

Asthma & Allergies Air Quality Allergy Kids Ask A Patient Gluten Free Girl Living Without

Air Quality

Allergy Kids

Ask A Patient

Gluten Free Girl

Living Without

Foodies Bon Appetit BWWI Hungry GIrl Weight Watchers

Bon Appetit

BWWI

Hungry GIrl

Weight Watchers

The Election 538

538

Breaking News

BUY THE MANUAL FROM TARGET!

Check out the latest DVDs and books reviewed by Moms like YOU!

Came across this study and it made me think - for about a nanosecond!

Nearly half of the women questioned in a poll conducted by Harris Interactive said they'd be willing to forgo sex for two weeks, rather than give up their Internet access, according to a study released Monday by Intel, which commissioned the survey. While 46 percent of the women surveyed were willing to engage in abstinence versus losing their Internet, only 30 percent of the men surveyed were willing to do likewise. And for women 35 to 44 years old, the figure jumped to 52 percent.

And this is news to who?????

So much for setting my clock. I realized this morning that I hadn't picked the winners!

On the Liza Palmer contest, the first winner is Schleprock who was comment #2. She paid ode to the Random Intergrator Generator. A bit of butt kissing must have worked, cause she won!

Here are your random numbers:

Timestamp: 2008-12-16 15:04:14 UTC

I picked another winner, too. #10 Maureen.

Timestamp: 2008-12-16 15:07:10 UTC

Please send me your addresses ASAP so I can get your books out today in the Xmas postal madness.

I got up this morning and made 119 latkes for my daughter's class and her Hanukkah presentation. I meant to make 70 but, what can I say, once I got going I couldn't be stopped. Truth be, I made them too small in the beginning because I was worried I didn't have enough.

Now let me just send out 450 cards, ship six boxes (today is the last day!) and grade papers.

Spiked Egg nog anyone?

Only 24 hours left to the fabu set of Liza Palmer books.

Leave a comment in the contest section HERE!

And check out Liza's interview here . And this fun picture of Liza hanging with her Lit friends:

Megan Crane, Liza (in the back.middle), Julie Buxbaum and Jennifer Weiner at JW's reading in Santa Monica

Do not do anything else right now but read Judith Warner's article, My Daughter/My Self. It is one of the most honest pieces I have read about motherhood. And from her.

Yes, today is my birthday. Frank Sinatra's birthday too. I am a bit freaked out about my age (past 40) since I realize my life is most likely half over. It has sent me into analyzing my life more than usual and asking all those questions that are hard to answer.

Am I spending my time the way I want to?

Am I helping others or just serving myself?

Am I working too hard and not taking time to enjoy my family more?

All those questions that make one drink too much Rum punch like I did last night at the Bus Stop Mom and friends Birthday Bash. It was so MUCH fun to have a bunch of moms together eating and drinking and laughing. Of course, I had to show off my new bra. Instead of feeling negative about my large tits, I am trying to embrace them for what they are. It worked last night--I'll see how long it lasts before I am asking my doctor, once again, if I can get a breast reduction...please!

My cake plate collection was a big hit. We had two kinds of cake-chocolate and carrot-and they were both outrageously delicious. As I was walking home (my gfriends lives around the corner from me) I dropped the cake all over the street. Oops-Classic Christine. I scooped it up and threw it in the trash can. I was laughing so hard-standing there in the middle of the road cleaning up the cake.

I am off to take a warm hot bath. No work today. At least not until I hit the bus stop.

This is a super hot contest for the holidays! A set of Liza Palmer books-very funny and entertaining reads. Recently optioned by HBO (by the producer of Rome), Conversations with the Fat Girl is on its way to being a television series. Seeing Me Naked is Liza's new book about a woman who likes to control things a bit too much. Can we relate or what?

Leave a COMMENT on our CONTEST page (NOT HERE) to register to win. I have multiple copies so you have a great chance of winning!

I have to share this nightmare! I've been down for four days now with the flu. I lost my voice and have been battling fever, and body aches. I know it's the real McCoy because I got the Flu Mist two days before I got sick. My doctor assures me it is a coincidence and a different strain of flu, but I am convinced that I essentially chose to give myself the flu , during this busy holiday season. Schleprock Syndrome 101.

My dh is of course, in China, so my house has been operating in "battle mode". The floor is covered in laundry and toys, and my kitchen looks like it threw up! But I can handle anything, as I psyche myself up each day to keep everyone on schedule and meet the daily challenges of motherhood. Until yesterday....

After summoning the strength to pick my daughter up from Girl Scouts, we pull up to the house and the front door is wide open. My 8 year old is a bit anxious and immediately decides we've been broken into, jumps out of the car and runs to the neighbor to get help, crying hysterically. Of course, she picks my perfect neighbor next door who has no children, commutes to Manhattan, and is a bit like the Julia Louise Dreyfus character in Christmas Vacation. Her husband comes rushing over , and in spite of my resistance, offers to search my house with me for intruders . It's bad enough that my house looks like the Space Shuttle just landed.. but where do you look for intruders? In closets and under beds of course!! I am so mortified! Now I am going to have to move!

My hubby got me an Iphone as an early Birthday present! My kids were SO excited to give it to me this morning and I am so excited to have it. This is something I have wanted for ages but would never buy for myself.

My daughter actually said to me the other day, "Mommy you should just buy yourself one."

I looked at her and said, "You are right." I don't want her to see me as some self-sacrificing woman who doesn't do anything for herself. Which is kind of true sometimes. I did buy new bras for myself. That counts for something!

The question is will I be online more or less now? We shall see.

I have posted a new column, Parent Talk , which explores my obsession with parenting experts.

MH is also excited to have author Lisa Hein as a guest columnist. Her column, Holiday Hallejuah, talks about the loss of the meaning of the holidays and how we can get back to teaching our children unconditional giving.

Enjoy!

Hubby and I just watched Jane Porter's FLIRTING WITH FORTY movie on Lifetime and loved it. Delicious FUN. I want a Jane Porter movie every week--that would be called a television series, now wouldn't it?

The winner is Karen H-the lucky owner of comment #4

From Random.org:

Timestamp: 2008-12-06 06:40:58 UTC

Congratulations!!

In celebration of Jane Porter's book, FLIRTING WITH FORTY, adapted as a movie which debuts on Lifetime on December 6th, 7th and 8th at 9 pm , I am giving away this fabulous bag and FLIRTING WITH FORTY book!!!

Leave your COMMENTS to win here! (I can't handle my contest section right now). The winner will be chosen on December 5th by my new BFF, the Random generator.

(Don't forget to tune in to the show. I am planning a night with my gfriends to tune in and scream! I have to say this movie will be my TWILIGHT!)

I cannot believe it, but Britney Spears has managed to hit a new low. Unfortunately, this time America's "Role Model Mother" and "Queen of Bizzaro Land" is trying to take our children down with her. I'm no Tipper Gore, nor did I really ever believe that Ozzie Osborne imbedded any satanic language in his lyrics, but her newest release "If You Seek Amy" is just simply a pathetic, desperate, publicity stunt that I think is a huge INSULT to whatever fans she might have left. Just what I want my eight and ten year old daughters singing:

Love me hate me Say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

Are you kidding me?? Sing it out loud, check it out for yourself. (F-U-see-kay-Me)

http://www.youtube.com/watc h?v=nWyXO4MJBq0

I really tried to support the idea of her comeback, because I sympathized with her struggles with mental illness and most likely post partum depression. Now, I just want to shut her down before she spreads any more of her white trash doctrine. Sorry girls, Santa will NOT be leaving any new Britney Spears albums under our Christmas tree!

I am so excited to see my dear friend Jane Porter's movie, FLIRTING WITH FORTY. It looks like a perfect movie for me, especially when my husband has to work late. Glass of wine, kids in bed and a good FLICK.

The debut time is Friday, December 6th on LIFETIME.

Check out this interview with Jane about the book and the movie:

Back in April I spent a week in Hawaii on the set of the "Flirting with Forty" movie, and for that week I felt like a VIP. As many of my readers know, I live part-time on Oahu, and being on Oahu, on my favorite beach in Waikiki watching them film, blew me away.

In 2004 I started getting a wisp of an idea for the story, an idea that grew into 2005's novel. I fell in love with Hawaii and a surfer, not necessarily in that order, and what I learned at 40 gave life to a book that's now a fabulous holiday movie. Read more...

Be sure to check out, Reading between the Lines in THE READER: When is Abuse not Abuse? ," an article by our MH friend Thelma Adams' piece on The Huffington Post about the new movie, The Reader.

She brings up some interesting points about the Older Woman-Young Boy romance.

Be sure to leave a comment for her to read.

Check out these articles on writing.

Now writers in India are writing copy for a PENNY a WORD, according to Maureen Dowd's column, A Penny for My Thoughts?

And the NY Times article, How to Publish without Perishing , says publishing of many books are dead, books have become an object of beauty.

"Go back to an old-fashioned idea: that a book, printed in ink on durable paper, acid-free for longevity, is a thing of beauty. Make it as well as you can. People want to cherish it."

My cell phone is truly the window to my psyche. Right now the inbox on my phone is full, and people can’t get in touch with me. My close friends know that this is a sign that something is overwhelming me, and I have lost my cell phone AGAIN! I know it is here somewhere….

Perhaps it is the fact that I still have pumpkins on my front porch, two imp ending deadlines to meet, no holiday family photo yet, and can’t even see the floor of my laundry room!

Ironically, when I find it, there are still many people that I will not be able to call back. That’s because my daughter spilled her water bottle in the drink holder of my van on her way to school last week. I handled this accident with unusual calmness and perspective, until I returned to the car and dropped my cell phone into it. Splash! Then proceeded to drive out of the school yard- expletives flying!

Luckily the phone dried, and all of the numbers except “5” work. So if your phone number has a 5 in it – sorry, but you are out.

Yes, my cell phone is the perfect metaphor for my state of being. At times it is a sleek, powerfully productive tool that enables me to multi-task and keep on top of everything. And other times, it can be a lost, dirty, broken, item. Full of potential, but needing a little time to recharge.

The holiday shopping madness is already in full force, and I am sickened by the greed and consumerism that is robbing us of our humanity. My heart goes out to the family of that poor New York Walmart worker who was trampled to death by a bargain hunting mob. How do you explain that to his family? Not only did they step over his body and injure other workers who tried to come to his rescue, but shoppers became irate when informed that the store would have to be closed because of the fatality that had just taken place - how Inconvenient!

And the shootout at the Palm Desert Toys 'R Us is even more disturbing. Who brings a gun toy shopping? So I am spending today, Cyber Monday, shopping in the safety of my home. With free shipping and no pistol packing mobs to contend with, you can't beat it.

But perhaps I should lock my doors, just to be safe.